Grace asked me to write this article last week after I “returned” a salad to a local sandwich shop because it was not worth the $10 that I had paid for it. Becoming a person who asks for what she wants has not come naturally. Like many people (dare I say particularly women), I always feel like when I ask for things, I’m fighting against that part of me that wants to be rewarded for not asking. I feel like someone will notice my supreme sacrifice and quiet patience – above all, what a good person I am for not being demanding – and all my wishes will come true because I didn’t ask and was good and quiet.
But the more experience I have in the real world (not the fantasy world in my mind), the more I realize this is not the case. People are simply too busy trying to get through their own days and their own lives to figure out the secret wishes floating around in my head. So about this time last year, I started an experiment. It came out of a phone conversation with my dad, who was doing research for his book. He told me about a concept called Rejection Therapy. I’ve spoken about it on After the Jump, but the basic concept is that most of us are so afraid of hearing the word “no,” that we neglect to ask for things.
When I heard about the concept, I was immediately transported back to my first job in New York. I was working for a company that sold book binding supplies and was hired on the same day for the same job as another girl. She and I, both new to the city, became good friends and one day she let her salary amount slip. She was making about $100 more per week than I was. At the time, this was a huge difference. I was just barely scraping by on the amount I was making. I was so shocked that I asked how she got more money. She told me that when she was offered the job, she just told them that she needed more money. I felt like the wind was knocked out of me. I couldn’t believe it was so simple. She just asked. -Amy
Read more about asking for what you want after the jump!
via Design*Sponge http://ift.tt/SvL0Kl From Amy Azzarito
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